Hair

I have returned to my sports roots. Sweetie is a sports fan. He watches football, even if it is not one of his teams (the Giants or Jets) and watches the Yankees (even on the Internet), as such, since I like spending time with him, I too watch sports.

I have seen a lot of football this season. This is fine. One of my fondest childhood memories is learning the rules of football while watching a game with my Father. I am from Pittsburgh and came of TV watching age in the 1970s. The Steel Curtain. One for the Thumb in '81. I have a terrible towel, and I am in some sort of team photo with the Steelers that was taken at my Jr. prom as they were in the same restaurant we were eating in before the prom.

So me watching football is not that odd. I also like golf and hockey (again I am from Pittsburgh and they still do not have a professional Basketball team).

What I am finding somewhat interesting about current day football, is the hair of the black players. Where did they get such long hair that it hangs outside of their helmets in the back? Being a black woman my entire life I understand how black hair grows. I can not imagine that these football players have long enough hair to hang outside their helmets. So this means one of a few things. Either they are getting a relaxer to straighten their hair and then having it braided, and or they are getting extension. Either option leaves me wondering about the extent of their vanity to sit in a beauty shop chair and have either process done.

Then again, I do recall Frenchie Fuqua's shoes with goldfish in the clear Lucite heels, and other 1970s football players and their full length man furs, so maybe the vanity is something that has been present in football all along.

I am not against metrosexual tendencies in men. I like a man who cares for his skin, his hair and wears cologne and nice clothing. Sweetie is not a metrosexual but for him rugged and jeans wearing works. As explained in an earlier post, I find Johnny Depp and Prince sexy with their makeup and androgynous beauty. But I have a problem when you blend the image of a professional athlete and a beauty chair. Be rugged and have callouses on your hands, or be a metrosexual and use hair product and a hint of eyeliner, but don't blend them. Please.

A word about my blog in process

As explained in the "digital ghetto" post, I am a Mac user (at home and would be at work if I could convince 19,999 other co-workers to join me). But I am constantly trying to add things to the blog, remove things and edit. So please bear with me.

With respect to the links from my reader, i found that this was an easy way to include links to things I like without dealing with the whole Mac Internet issue.

Finally with respect to the David Beckham add, he is simply hot hot hot. Usually I don't go for the buff and beautiful but Hot Damn, can you blame a girl?

Usually I prefer real people or quirky beautiful (think of the androgynous beauty of Prince, Johnny Depp). But there is something about a hard body in an underwear add that does it for me.

Oddly enough although I sigh dreamily over these wispy, sexually ambigious men, most of my true loves are manly, "basic" men, not Metrosexuals, not feminine, and usually favor jeans and t-shirts over dressing up. That is probably because they are real men, who are not worried about appearance, rather they care about real issues, and most importantly-- me.

Additionally, I do want to be with a man who I know that in an emergency I can count on not to leave me or Zak in the house while they run ineffectively about wondering what to do. While it may not be fair to andrognyous or slender artistic men (who again I find sexy, no wait... extremely sexy think Axyl Rose, Mic Jagger, Steven Tyler or Steve Conte), I want a man who gives the impression that he could carry me (and my shoes) out of the house if necessary.

I guess this post is no longer about my blog construction, it is more about my taste in men. Shocking. Not.

The Cash Cab

I don't know what it is about me, but I tend to attract taxi drivers. I used to live near New York City. I worked in the city so I took cabs often. I actually think riding the subway is the best way to get through the city, but if it was late, or I was tired, or had a lot of things in my hands, I would hop in a cab.

In the 10 years that I lived in NYC, I have had my fortune told by a cab driver, while driving, he read my palm. I also received several proposals to become a cabbie girlfriend, lover and even wife.

My favorite cab ride was one I took about 2 years ago. I was on my way to a job interview. I was in lower Manhattan and needed to get to the midtown west in short order. One thing that you can never be confident about in NYC is transportation time. The subways can be fast, or horribly slow. There can be traffic, or clear roads. There are very few certainties, so you learn to leave a lot of time for travel, and when it is important to be somewhere on time, the rule is you will cut it close or be late. Always.

At any rate, I left enough time, but I did not count on the accident we got into (we were rear ended) or the horrid late afternoon tunnel traffic. If that were not fun enough, my cabbie decided that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and spent the very long traffic filled ride, trying to convince me to date him. Again, I am the friendly sort, and will talk with anyone when they talk to me.

Among the virtues that he presented me, including a cab when ever I needed it, he offered to cook for me (a very common theme for cab drivers I am finding) a lovely fish dinner, and he also mentioned that people thought he looked like Robert DiNero.

I happen to love Robert DiNero, so this caught my attention. He turned around and I screamed as he was a perfect double for Mr. DiNero. Of course this came at the end of the cab ride, and I had to run to my interview so I could not stay around and chat, though he did give me his card, and number. My friends are convinced that I was in a cab with Mr. DiNero while he was preparing for a role.

I never called.

Is this all that there is

This is a question people ask themselves often. It is probably most often asked when they are feeling doomed, depressed or simply frustrated.

I was spending Thanksgiving with dear life long friends and their spouses and kids. We were discussing marriage, one of our group had just survived a nasty divorce, I was on my way to a wedding of my favorite cousin, and there were several married couples of various ages, and tenure in their marriage. My ever practical no nonsense host said that once you have made your choices, as long as there is nothing seriously wrong (abuse, addiction or adultery) that even though someone else may look better it is just more reasonable to make the best of what you have.

Someone I am really close to just let me know that he is headed towards divorce. His wife is simply a skank who has been carrying on relationship after relationship in a very public way in the health club that their entire family belongs to. She clearly has a hole in her soul, as they have two fantastic children (both girls) but she is willing to give them up to be the town skank. Sleeping around while in a marriage with young children is horrible, and she didn't even have the decency to be discreet. My favorite quote is "I love my children and all, but I have to do something for my self." This from a woman who gets up at 4:30 in the morning to work out, then goes directly to work, returns home in time to grab the kids and their homework, and goes back to the club to work out a second time and then brings the kids home in enough time to go to bed. WHEN ISN'T SHE DOING SOMETHING FOR HER SELF.

She has the NERVE to have a defense, "My husband was mean to me." Ok, fine, I do not condone being mean and verbally abusive. However, you then say something, or leave, you don't just become the town skank. The best part is that her formerly upstanding parents (very mad at their other child for being with someone who was divorced) DEFEND HER SLUTTISH WAYS. The blind devotion is insane. I am happy that my friend will be getting away from her and her family.

Relationships

As a single professional woman, many of my friends are also single. I am quite happy being single, though I suppose I need to reclassify my self as in a relationship. I live with my boyfriend "Sweetie". We have been living together for a year, and after 20 years of living alone it is a hard adjustment. I love him and am happy that we live together. I can not imagine my life without him, yet being in a relationship is hard, and if one is an independent woman it is often ever harder.

My married and coupled friends say the same thing, but until I lived with someone I really did not understand what they meant. So to decipher the code, I am going to explain what I mean about it being hard. When you are used to being alone first you have to get used to share space with someone. Someone who may not share your same life style habits, like the level of how you like to clean, or really how you like to keep the house. I tend to be neater than Sweetie, not that I am hyper about it, but I now fully understand what my mother meant when she said she hated to come home after a long day into a mess.

Another issue is life rhythms. I am more of a morning person than Sweetie. I am also far less patient than he is, and I tend to like to do things when I think about them rather than taking some time to do further research, or think more about it. Sweetie likes to ponder, research and move once he is sure he is getting the best deal on the best product for what ever you are looking for. This makes sense, and makes him less impulsive, but in combination for how I tend to act we drive each other a bit crazy. I dont want to make a hasty move that he is not comfortable with, but once he starts in with his research I tend to loose my momentum, as such things that we both want to do often don't end up happening, because we loose interest or momentum.

Neither of these issues is insurmountable, but it does tend to get in the way of gazing into each others eyes, and in some certain situations we may wait to long and end up not getting something we want or need. Oh well, I think this is what people mean about learning about your self in a relationship in a way that you can not discover alone.